In Nonviolent Communication, we are invited to take a moment to go within and observe our triggered evaluation or judgment that we cast upon a situation or to words in a conversation. Practice taking a moment to Acknowledge the trigger that caused your feeling and judgement. Where do you feel it in your body? What do you say to yourself?
This is no easy task! We often jump right to blaming or criticizing the other person rather than acknowledge our own potential woundedness and victim story.
Though to arrive at an observation rather than a judgment or evaluation of a situation can be truly transformative. And as Krishna Mirdi says: “The highest form of human intelligence is to observe without evaluating. When we judge it is a “tragic expression of our unmet needs,” says Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent (Compassionate) Communication.
Why tragic? Because when we judge, there can be no compassion that can live at that same instant. Judgment may be a strategy we use to protect ourselves from feeling the pain of our victim stories or expressing our truth. And when we judge others, the likelihood of being heard and getting our needs met is not very great.
4 Steps to Practice when triggered: (take a moment to say these steps to yourself….a thousand times a day)
1) Look what I created
2) I acknowledge my judgments and feelings, and love myself anyway
3) I am willing to see the ‘learning’ for myself in this situation
4) I choose Peace